A Very Big Week

As is often the case with the beginning of the school year, the past few weeks have been a blur.  In between shopping for clothes, wrapping up summer events, and settling into a new routine, each day has felt like a marathon, and each night is too often filled with a list of yet-to-complete tasks. 

Just as I am settling into a new year at school, my boys fell back into their routine at Miss Celeste's house.  Like most working parents, I feel torn apart by my emotions, as I (mostly) enjoy going to work each day, but I am (mostly) sad when I have to leave my little ones at the sitter's house.  Fortunately, Miss Celeste is terrific with my guys, and they have developed some pretty solid relationships with other kids in her care. 




Jimmy, Anthony and friends at Miss Celeste's

















This past week, however, I was forced to alter our developing routines, and pause to reflect and celebrate... because it was a very big week.

With butterflies in my stomach, and a few tears I was forced to blink away, I sent my Anthony off to his first day of school. 

We prepared for the big day with lots of conversations and a few new books.  We ran through some basic scenarios, and planned our pick up and drop off routines.  We both shed a few tears in the days and hours leading up to the first day.

I was nervous and jumpy and a bit too excited, but Anthony was calm and collected as we walked into the building.  He stopped to pose for a few pictures with his buddy, walked into the classroom, and became a part of that community. 

Eddie and Anthony outside of their preschool building

While I enjoyed school, and I want him to feel the same, there is a small part of me that is sad because this experience is separate from our shared experiences, and it is something I will never fully understand.  Even when he is at Miss Celeste's, I have a degree of control, and I know most everything that happens, either through Anthony and Jimmy, or from Celeste.  School is different.  Anthony can choose what to tell me, and what to keep to himself. I may not know these new friends as well as I do his other companions.   He is becoming more independent each day, and while I realize that is a good thing, it also is a bit sad for me as well.

And just in case my emotions weren't already a bit wobbly (Anthony's word), we ended the week by celebrating Anthony's fourth birthday, which only served to remind me that my little boy isn't that little anymore.

Around 5:40 on Saturday morning, the boys came running into my bedroom, turned on the (way too bright) light, and announced that they were ready to begin our celebrations for Anthony's birthday. 



The birthday boy with his adoring parents

















While Anthony got all of his birthday requests (a Cleveland Indians party, a pair of P.F. Flyers, and an aluminum tee ball bat), the highlight of his day was celebrating with his family.  He posed for pictures with his grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and spent hours running through the yard with his cousins. 

Anthony and his cousin

                   

Anthony and his Aunt Care

                                               





















Above all, Anthony's birthday party was a terrific life lesson for me.  While I spent the day feeling a bit nostalgic, reflecting on the first time I held him, or looking a pictures from his past birthdays, Anthony reminded me to cherish the present.  He enjoyed every moment of the day, and as he sat with me by the late night campfire, he whispered that "this was the best day ever."  And I couldn't agree more.    Of course, I am pretty sure that Anthony was thinking about how much fun he had, especially when Buster hailed the ice cream truck and bought all of the kids even more sugary-sweet treats.  

But I was thinking about how awesome it was to have Anthony as a son. 


Anthony and I on his first day at preschool

                                         




















And not to leave out my Jimmy...  

I think he has had a very big week also.  Just as Anthony is settling into a new experience, so is Jimmy.  He is a bit sad that his brother is going to preschool without him, and he was a bit perplexed that his brother celebrated a birthday that didn't really focus on him, but he has found his own ways to shine.  He has become quite the entertainer, who is pretty good a performing prat falls in the living room and songs throughout the grocery store.  And, like most clowns, he puts on a good front for the audience, but he needs a bit more comfort when no one else is paying attention.    Just as my world revolves around my boys, I'm pretty sure that Jimmy's world (currently) revolves around Anthony.    


Jimmy and Anthony

                                                




















I am grateful they are close, but I am also glad they now have the opportunity to develop their personalities separate from each other.   And, quite selfishly, I am grateful that Jimmy is spending a few more minutes each day cuddling with his mother.  We both need it.  

To Anthony:  Happy birthday, and congratulations on your first days at school.  This week is only the beginning, and there will be many more terrific big weeks in your future.  I love you more than you know.  

To Jimmy:  I love you more than you can imagine.  You are just as important and loved as your brother, and I will make sure that you know it.