Usually we separate the boys without intention.
Who wants to go to the grocery store with Daddy?
Who is staying home to help with dinner?
Does anyone want to run a few errands?
This past weekend, we were a bit more intentional with the separation. My mom and I took Anthony to my school district's Community Green Day, and we worked with a crew of teachers and students to prepare the school garden for spring planting. This was a terrific activity for Anthony, because he loves to work in the dirt, and thrives when he has a specific task. Like I expected, he jumped right in among the (high school) students and used his (small) wheelbarrow to bring topsoil into the garden, and helped his grandma tackle the (rather pitiful) perennial gardens. He was exhausted by the time we left, but it was clear that this event was perfectly suited to his personality.
Later in the day, Jimmy and I took a special trip to the bookstore. He loves to browse the books (and toys and trains and stuffed animals) in the children's section, and I gave him an hour to do just that. He read, he wandered, he played, and he followed his own agenda. He could tell me stories without interruption, and he could quietly look at any book he chose without distraction.
Dan made sure his time with each boy was special, too. He took Jimmy for an adventure with his cousins, and focused soley on Anthony during baseball practice. While it's obvious that the individual time for each child is essential, it was essential for us, too. I got a different opportunity to interact with Anthony and with Jimmy, and (hopefully) we added a new dimension to our relationship.
It is still a work in progress.
But we are progressing.
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